Bowel woes (ongoing…)

CT scan scanned, PICC line unlined and Oncologists said ‘never darken our doorsteps…’  Except, that is, for 5 years monitoring…

So: forward 4 months and letter arrives scheduling my next stage: a Colonoscopy.   Not fun, but OK…

Last time, I was told to comply with the ‘previous evening’ schedule (2 doses of ‘Moviprep’ the night before the procedure).  This time, told to take 1 in evening before and 1 in morning and to on no account follow any instructions on the medicine leaflet.  Odd, but what the hell?: they’re the experts, right(?)

Obeyed instructions and by one hour before the scheduled time nothing had happened – and that’s nothing at all – so I phone up to cancel.  Two hours after the procedure time the bowels open!  Continued for 8 hours and was somewhat annoying, given that it was all in vain!.

Contact Endoscopy dept and explain issues.  Lots of “Um…”, “Ah…” & “Got that…”.  A few days later another identical letter lands on my doormat, telling me to take one in the evening and one in the morning, together with another pack of jollop.  Since one definition of madness is repeating the same actions over and over again while expecting a different result, I took the issue up with Endoscopy.  Nice girl said “Ah!  Oh yes: that’s just a standard letter we send out.  Do what you think best…”  Madness?

Anyway, she did at least follow it up with a letter instructing me to use the ‘day before’ schedule, as well as to take senna for 5 days before.  Fine…

Took the senna, endured the diet, took the (extremely cloying and sickly) Moviprep, together with oodles of water (it’s the only way!).

Clear-out started on schedule and proceeded through the night: slightly less ‘enthusiastic’ clearing than I remembered, but maybe I’d got less to remove (if you see what I mean), so duly turn up at hospital and submit to entubement.  Lots more “‘Hmm’s” and “Aah’s” then the endoscopist declares “Can’t do it: bowel’s not clear enough.  We’ll reschedule for another day and give you a different regime…” Aargh!  That’s TWO lots of diets, chemically-induced diarrhoea and sleepless (almost) nights and I’m no further forward.  Endoscopist reckons that my sluggish bowel has got even more lazy and will need something a bit more effective (or, as an ex-doctor friend of mine said ‘Three sticks of dynamite!’)  Cheers.

So it’s all got to be done again.  Just to make life more interesting, I had a Covid jab just after the first failure, and this gave me 2 weeks of flu symptoms, which might also have affected my guts.

Got some holidays coming up so I will have to delay the next attempt to probe my innards for a couple of months.  Joy all round…

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